Friends at Work

​One of my dearest and most admired friends passed away unexpectedly on Monday. I’m shocked and so very sad. We met as colleagues, and later he became a dear friend and mentor. One of the benefits of work and career is meeting great people, people you can develop relationships with. Ron and I developed a friendship when our offices were next door to each other. We went to lunch often and discussed our work, families, politics, religion, health and more. We talked about so many things you’re not supposed to talk about at work. Many times we agreed. Other times we respectfully disagreed. We built trust and respect over time.
 
I admired Ron’s intellect, razor-sharp wit, and artistic sensibility. Ron studied literature at Harvard and playwriting at Yale. He was creative, insightful, and talented, while being soft spoken and compassionate. He was a talented painter and wrote and published five novels. He liked to hike and travel. He was active in his community. He loved his wife and two sons infinitely.

"A sweet friendship refreshes the soul."
​– Anonymous

​Ron mentored me while we were both still in the corporate world. As synchronicity would have it, we were laid off on the same day as part of a massive layoff. We talked that afternoon about how our layoffs had played out for both of us. As we both started our consulting practices, his in communications and marketing and mine in consulting and coaching, we shared war stories and lessons learned. He was patient and supportive, always a great listener and wise advisor.
 
When I was ready to publish my book, Feminine Emergence, I asked Ron to skim a couple of chapters and give me a pre-release review. Ron jumped on it right away. He read my whole book and gave me a wonderful review. He told me at lunch that I was a good writer, which brought tears of pride to my eyes. This complement from Ron meant the world to me. He told me that he could not put my book down, that it was a compelling read and an important book. 

"Friends are the flowers in the garden of life."
​– Anonymous

​Careers can be tough, long and arduous, unforgiving, even unrewarding. Don’t miss out on the chance to make friends at work. It is one of the most wonderful blessings of work that is available to us. To build a friendship like mine and Ron’s requires vulnerability, honesty, and sometimes forgiveness. It’s worth it. Ron was a gem of a man. I learned so much from him. Our friendship made my life richer. Ron was not a "work friend." He was my friend. I encourage you to be open to similar opportunities.
 
Early in my career I worked with another man, a wonderful man named Don. Don was charming, funny and kind. He mentored me while I was in my 20’s. Don died too early of pancreatic cancer. His funeral was the first funeral I ever attended. It was sad as hell. It was a packed house, and everyone was crying. Don had eight pallbearers. I knew all of them because I worked with them. Don’s coworkers were his dear friends, and they carried him, physically, on his final journey. It was lovely to see the camaraderie and love of the men carrying Don. I’ll never forget it.

Making friends and building relationships at work enhances work and life experience tremendously. Caring about your work and the people you work with increases engagement and productivity. It adds quality to life. It expands one’s sense of community and purpose.

Don’t have friends at work? Go make some. Have a few superficial friends at work? Deepen the relationships. Invite someone to lunch. Get to know them. Let them know you. Build relationships. You’ll be grateful you did. 

​***RIP, Ron. ***

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