​Sexual harassment in the workplace is going up, not down. Approximately 80% of women in the US report experiencing some sort of sexual harassment in the workplace. Look around at your female co-workers. Pick out a group of you and nine others. Chances are that eight of you will be harassed at least once in your career. Will it be you? Your best friend?
 
Why does this keep happening? Most employees, 73 % report that their managers do not challenge the use of inappropriate language or behavior in the workplace. So, it’s up to us to stand up for ourselves. But there is a big problem.

​Women (not all targets of sexual harassment are women, but most are) I talk with say they are shocked when a harasser, which I call a perpetrator (it’s stronger, and I like it) harasses them. I feel the same way. It happens to four out of five women, but we’re still surprised when gross, obscene, juvenile behaviors are targeted at us at work.
 
It’s time to be prepared. Chances are that you will be harassed. Get ready. Practice for how you will react. Get in front of the mirror, and practice. Yes, practice. There's a good chance it's going to happen, so get ready. 

Have you ever taken a self-defense class? Do you own insurance? Same thing. Prepare for a bad thing that may happen to you. This will give you confidence. There is a good chance you will be one of the four out of five. So, get ready.
 
Imagine you’re being harassed.  What do you do?
​
One - Understand that this person

• Is belittling you
• Has a problem
• Is being unprofessional
• Is being a bully

Two - Understand that you

• Don’t have to put up with this
• Have the right to protect yourself
• Are strong and not a victim
• Will now honor yourself

​Three - Go into “hero mode” because you are your own hero right now. You are professional and hardworking. You do not deserve this. It’s time to go into mental and emotional “Uma Thurman in Kill Bill” mode because this perp deserves it. Feel tough. You own this perp. You handle difficult things everyday. This perp doesn't know who they're dealing with.  You're not going to hurt anybody. You're just stopping this. Now. 

• Take a deep breath from your diaphragm
• Drop all the muscles in your face; relaxing your face gives you a serious,                  intimidating look
• Look your perp in the eye
• Stand to your full height

Four - Put your hands up. Make the “stop” sign with your hand, and make space for yourself. Step back. Hold your hand out. 

Five - Check your voice. You want to keep your voice low but not quiet. This is not time for a squeaky “Minnie Mouse” voice.

Six - Say something to break the flow of action or activity. You can say, “Stop that. That is really inappropriate.” You can ask, “Why are you being that way?” or “What exactly do you mean by that?”

Seven - At this point, you may want to just leave, or you may want to listen to your perp explain themselves and apologize. If/when a discussion ensues, your perp needs to understand that they are wrong and agree to not engage in this kind of grossly misguided behavior again. They need to apologize. 

​The only acceptable outcome is for you to feel good about standing up for yourself. Feel powerful. Know that you would do this again. You are in the right. Under no circumstances is it okay for this behavior to be tolerated by a company. It’s the law. And this behavior undermines productivity and retention of talent.
 
Now, go watch Kill Bill, and feel like a badass, because you are! We don’t expect this kind of behavior in a professional setting, but it happens everyday. Almost every woman I’ve talked to in my career has had some experience with being harassed. Since it is almost inevitable, get ready to handle it. Be strong. Take responsibility. Be a leader. Tell your perp they are way out of line and should never act like this again.

Let your perp know that you two will be okay as long as they stop their stupid behavior. Then drop it. Unless, of course it continues. Then you need to report them. 
​
It’s up to us to change company cultures. We can do this.

For more stories and suggestions on preventing sexual harassment, read my book, Feminine Emergence.
 
I’d love to hear about your experiences and questions. Please comment below.

Malcolm Gladwell writes in his book, The Tipping Point (2000), that a tipping point is "the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point." Gladwell writes that social changes spread when there is enough momentum, attention, or energy and can be started by just a few seemingly small-impact events. What does this have to do with Feminine Emergence? And first of all, what is Feminine Emergence?
 
Feminine Emergence is a process. When feminine energy grows and becomes stronger than it was before. The process relates to women’s empowerment and the sense for all of us that it’s healthy and safe to embrace feminine energy.

What is feminine energy? First of all, it’s not gender. It can be related to gender, but it doesn’t have to be. Both men and women have feminine energy. Women have it more. Feminine energy is what Eastern cultures call “Yin”. Elements of Feminine Energy include compassion, creativity, a worldview, environmental focus, creativity, embracing emotions, intuition, and win-win solutions. When we are kind, nurturing, or vulnerable, we are acting in our feminine energy. We are seeing more feminine energy in corporate cultures. As we have more women in professional and leadership roles, corporate cultures will have more feminine energy.
 
What is masculine energy? Masculine energy is what Eastern cultures call “Yang”. Masculine energy is competitive, action oriented, outwardly focused, independent, aggressive, confident, and strong. When we are analytical, systematic, objective, technical, direct, or participate in linear reasoning, we are in our masculine energy. 

​Masculine energy is a lot of fun. I enjoy it, and it has served me well in my career. It serves us well as a culture and economy also. When a culture becomes overly masculinized, as many work cultures have, we see bullying, harassment, greed, and other dysfunctions that undermine what we are looking for – which is engagement, productivity, innovation, and profitability.
 
The process of Feminine Emergence can happen for a person, a group (like a family or a work group), or a company or society. In our culture masculine energy has traditionally been more valued, so it has been exhibited more frequently. When feminine energy bubbles up, that is Feminine Emergence. This is what we’re seeing now in society and work cultures.

In the last three years, we have seen feminine energy being more valued and exhibited in professional organizations. We now have more women in Congress and more women CEO’s and board members of Fortune 500 companies. This is changing work cultures. For example, we see behaviors of “collaboration” and “relationship building” being valued among leaders. These are aspects of feminine energy.
 
We are experiencing what I think Gladwell would describe as a tipping point, a cultural change with no going back. In the #MeToo and #TimesUp era, work cultures are changing to be less tolerant of all forms of harassment and more inclusive of feminine styles of leadership.
 
We’ve seen other tipping points in our time. When people realized that personal computers were not a luxury but a necessary business and educational tool, that was a tipping point. Once we got on the personal computer bandwagon, momentum built. There was no going back. This will be the same. There will be no turning back.

Read more about Feminine Emergence in my Amazon.com best-selling book, FE Feminine Emergence.

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You’re in a meeting, and you have a great idea. It won’t come out of your mouth. You’re quiet.
​
Two minutes later, Jeff says your idea. He doesn’t explain it as well as you would’ve, but he’s got it out there. Everyone loves the idea.
 
You cringe inside.
 
Why does Jeff get all the credit and glory of your idea? Again!? This has happened before.
 
Why don’t you speak up?
 
You know why. It’s fear. Plain and simple. FEAR. The 'ole "500 pound fear gorilla" set in and is sitting on your chest. Ugh!

You’re afraid of looking stupid. You’re afraid of sounding like a crazy person. You’re afraid of sounding dumb. I know, I know. I’ve been there. I understand. But here’s the thing…you’ve got to stop letting Jeff and others get the glory. It’s time to step into your power, embrace your inner tiger, and bring YOU to the world. In all your glory!
 
“But how?” you say, “I’m a scared little bunny with a gorilla sitting on my chest.” Yes, we all have a scared little bunny inside of us. That is true. We all also have a ferocious tiger inside of us, a fierce tiger that will protect you and your bunny. It’s time to let her out to play.

​It’s time to adult. Yes, we’ve started using “adult” as a verb. When we “adult” we “act like a grownup.” One aspect of “adulting” (Yes, now we’re even going to gerund our new verb! Oh! I did it again!) is consciously choosing our behaviors. As adults, we pay close attention to our feelings and wisely choose appropriate responses and behaviors. Sometimes it’s appropriate to have a “bunny response” that is gentle, warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it’s appropriate to have a “fierce tiger response” that is direct, bold, and tough. Once we’ve selected our response, we plan and act. This is part of adulting. 

Three Times to Engage Your Fierce Inner Tiger:
There may be more than this, but these are three of the most frequent situations that I see where we need our Fierce Inner Tigers. 

• When someone is taking advantage of you or the situation  you’re in
• When others are missing out on your full gloriousness and don’t appreciate who you are
• When you (and your little inner bunny) are in danger physically, emotionally, spiritually, or in another way

Four Steps to Unleashing Your Fierce Inner Tiger:

1. Understand the Need – Before engaging your Inner Fierce Tiger, understand your “Why?” Are you in danger, being taken advantage of, or are others not seeing the real you? What is happening?
2. Feel Your Fierce Inner Tiger – Feel your Fierce Inner Tiger surfacing. Greet her. Agree that this will all go well, and that your ego, Fierce Inner Tiger, and conscience will collaborate for the overall greater good. Your Fierce Inner Tiger is strong and confident, not petty or mean-spirited. Feel her energy of strength and confidence.
3. Acknowledge Your Fierce Inner Tiger Out Loud – Help those you’re with understand that they’re getting ready to see a different side of you. You may be switching from “bunny” to “tiger,” and it may seem abrupt or even shocking. Say something like, “I need to say something,” “I have a concern,” or “I have a question, and it may come as a surprise to some of you.” Say something that indicates that your energy is getting ready to change. This is a masterful approach to showing that you are in charge, not a mood-swing-ridden lunatic. This prevents people from thinking, “Wow! That came out of nowhere!” or “What’s she on today?”
4. Say What You Need to Say – Say what you need to say. Then sit back and be quiet. Don’t go on and on. Sometimes we feel the need to fill the air. Don’t. Just sit back and let what you’ve said sink in. The quiet is your friend. Relax. Breathe. Let people process what you’ve said and the energy behind it. Most of all, feel good about being fierce. You’re bold, and you’ve got this.

You’re not stupid, crazy, or dumb. You’re glorious! Let the world see your glory. As an adult, you have a responsibility to all you’ve learned and accomplished. You have a responsibility to your experience and expertise. You have a responsibility to the world to share who you are and what you know.
 
Let go of fear. Stop playing small. It doesn’t benefit you or anyone else (except maybe Jeff, and you don’t need to do him anymore favors). You and the world are going to love your Fierce Inner Tiger.
 
Are you challenged to let your Fierce Inner Tiger out as much as you’d like? Let’s talk. Book a Discovery Session with me. It’s free. We’ll talk about your Fierce Inner Tiger. Click here to book today: https://bookme.name/lisaliszcz/

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